Fraud Alert! A Not-So-Funny Guide to Keeping Your Money (and Dignity) Intact

Part I

In a world where scammers work harder than most of us do at our day jobs, seniors have become the prime targets for these entrepreneurial criminals. While fraud is no laughing matter, perhaps a touch of humor might make these warnings more memorable. So, grab your reading glasses (the ones hanging around your neck) and let’s explore the latest schemes designed to separate you from your hard-earned retirement funds.

The “Tech Support” Technicians Who Can’t Even Program Their Own Microwaves – Picture this: You’re enjoying a peaceful afternoon when your computer screen suddenly flashes a warning that would make a nuclear meltdown seem casual. “CRITICAL VIRUS DETECTED! CALL THIS NUMBER IMMEDIATELY!” These “Microsoft technicians” (who mysteriously all have the same name, “Steve,” despite thick accents suggesting Steve is not their given name) will helpfully remote into your computer to “fix” the non-existent problem. The only virus here is them – infecting your bank account after you’ve given them your credit card information.

Defense Strategy: Remember that legitimate tech companies don’t monitor your personal computer and won’t call you unsolicited. And Microsoft certainly doesn’t hire people who sound like they’re reading a script while a supervisor whispers instructions in their other ear.

The “Grandchild in Peril” Performance Artists – These Oscar-worthy scammers call with a tearful story about your grandchild being in jail/hospital/trouble in a foreign country. They need money IMMEDIATELY, and oh, “please don’t tell Mom and Dad.” The most current twist? They’re using AI voice technology to mimic your actual grandchildren’s voices, making this scam exponentially more convincing and terrifying.

Defense Strategy: Establish a family code word only your actual relatives would know. When “Madison” calls sobbing from “Mexico” without knowing the code word (which is “pineapple pizza is an abomination,” naturally), you’ll know it’s time to hang up.

The Romance Scammer Who “Loves” Your Profile Picture (And Your Retirement Account) – Dating sites aren’t just for the youngsters anymore! Unfortunately, neither are romance scams. These smooth operators create fake profiles, shower you with compliments, and develop intense “relationships” at warp speed. Their love language? Your financial assistance. You’ve got to ‘prove’ your love to them – and money talks. The 2025 version often involves cryptocurrency investments that “we can do together” or sudden medical emergencies requiring immediate wire transfers.

Defense Strategy: If your new online paramour who looks suspiciously like a model from a toothpaste commercial needs money before meeting in person, it’s time to swipe left on the relationship.

I’m just here looking out for you. And I’ll be back next month with more. Till then, stay smart and safe!