But…Does it Bring You Joy?

For those of you familiar with the Marie Kondo joy-centered philosophy of decluttering and tidying up methods, you’ll understand the question above. If you’ve experienced the lifechanging magic that comes from purging all the ‘stuff’ you live with that does not bring joy, has outlived its usefulness, is no longer in working order, or will make a great DIY project, someday… then I aspire to be like you one day. It’s a work in progress and it takes baby steps. I’ve gotten better.

In my life, I’ve moved too many times to count. I’ve lived abroad and in various states in the U.S. I’ve had roommates and lived alone. I’ve combined households after marriage, and I’ve sorted my parents’ home after their passing. The latter was the most difficult. After all, it was my childhood home too.

When it came time to go through my childhood home, to get rid of what needed getting rid of, to keep what needed keeping, to pass on what needed to go to someone who would appreciate it, I found it to be a very emotional process. But when it needs to be done, what choice does one have?

In my case, after I had cleared the furniture out of the home, I plopped a mattress down on the floor in my parents’ former bedroom for 10 days and got to work. I set up a portion of the living room that was for donations. There was a place out back of the house for things going to the dump or out with the garbage. And then there were the personal items.

There were mementos from their early lives, before their four children came along. Things that were from our lives as children. The crates our mother so carefully stored our childhood art, prizes, and other precious things in, each with our names prominently displayed. In mine was also my childhood teddy bear and a collection of doll clothes my mother had so lovingly sewed and made for my favorite dolls. There were greeting cards and gifts that we had given our parents made by us in Sunday school or at away camp. And the list goes on.

What I found was that my momentum at being a decluttering machine markedly slowed when I came across such items that had a personal connection. Items that evoked memories and touched the heart. I remember that, for the longest time, I couldn’t get rid of anything that contained my parents’ handwriting. It seemed too personal to them and the connection too strong to sever so permanently.

What I did discover, and what many clients have shared with me time and again, is how very difficult it is to declutter and sort someone else’s life – especially a loved one. And while I like to share legal resources in this space here, the title is ‘Life and the Law.’ Those things walk hand in hand. And what I want you to consider is that while estate planning is not only what one does for their own peace of mind, it’s also – if not more importantly – for those we leave behind. Consider that when it comes to your ‘stuff’, as well. What do we want to leave behind? Countless margarine containers for leftovers just in case we have an impromptu dinner party for 150 of our closest friends? Or just the things that bring you joy – the things that would spark joy in others? Maybe it’s time to roll up those sleeves, and get yourself a little of that lifechanging magic by asking yourself, “does this bring me joy?”